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June 03, 2003-5:36 pm
i broke my plans for today but tomorrow i think i'm seeing people.
HIM: adios muchacha, companionera de mi vida
HIM: mi gente querida...something something something something....
HIM:(i dont know the words)
ME: hahaha
ME: goodbye boyface (i am less creative)
yeah, simple things make me smile. oh, by the way i started taking my medication again yesterday. but my body's not used to it so i've had a bad stomachache and i get dizzy easily. i also get headaches but they're few and far between. i heart my digital camera. i heart every little digital piece of it. these last weeks of school are long l o n g l o n g and i can't wait to get outside although i'd feel better if i wasn't weighed down so much. i got a papercut on my right hand's small finger. right on the second knuckle too. it bled a lot for a papercut and still stings so i'm sucking on it and i've left a little ring of red lipstick. i know this doesn't mean anything to anyone but i am really in the mood to write. i can't believe i'm leaving this place in less than a month. new town new people new house new bed. the bed is probably what i'll miss the most believe it or not. i just wish my shorts from last summer didn't get stuck on my thighs or that flesh didn't bulge when i put on old skirts. hopefully with this change of scenery will come a change of me physically and hopefully emotionally as well. i know i will be changed intellectually this summer because i'm taking a three week course on existensialism. my neck hurts and i'm thirsty. i'm very tired because my medication 'may cause drowsiness' and i haven't gotten a lot of sleep in the last couple of days. my computer is acting a little strangely and it's worrying me especially because my horoscope said so (i doubted it seeing as my computer is almost my lover). there's also a millipede carcass on my desk. it appeared late last night while i was talking to adam susan and benjamin. i had to push myself away from the desk. i was crying. it was gigantic. it kept winding closer and closer. my mother gave me the RAID to kill it but as much as i hated it i couldn't bring myself to do so. i hate killing insects as much as i just hate them. mommy killed it and in the process got RAID all over everything including the couch and the computer. neither of us could bring ourselves to pick it up. it will probably stay there until either it disintegrates or one of my kitties eat it as i know they like to do. sadly my room is a mess, you'd think i would have cleaned it all with my newfound purity search but i just can't get around to doing it. i hate my bedroom, i find it depressing. i lived through 3 horrible years in that room and thats all i can think of in it. it's dark and my mother won't buy me another lamp. i just sit here and type and type and type. i hardly even sleep in my own bed anymore. if i'm sleeping at all it's on the couch right here or on the chair in my room. i don't tell a lot of people that because i fear that they would find me strange. it got darker out. it was so nice earlier today. pity. it sounds beautiful though, you know the sound of the wind before a thunderstorm. it's quiet and warm. my computer smells like burning plastic but outside it smells like trees. i am very hopeful today. i think i'm going to go clean my room now. goodbye
