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July 07, 2003-10:50 pm
today i felt as if my insides were growing too big for the outside and that all of my skin was on the verge of ripping apart at all times. my head is still reeling and dizzy and i was happy but now now now i'm just paranoid scared and sad. i feel like i know i'm going to die tonight and a part of me wishes i would because i can't deal with myself much longer. i don't even know why the fuck i'm writing in here. it doesn't solve shit for me and i'm still going to feel like this after i click 'done!'. every night i come home to feel like shit even after good days and i'm just so fucking sick of it because goddamnit my life's been pretty good and i don't understand why i have to feel as if it's not. my nerves are so sensitive right now, just resting my wrists on the keyboard makes it feel like i've lost circulation. there's nothing else i should even bother writing about. all that needs to be said is that i feel like shit for no fucking reason and this entry is so stupid because there is no reason to write.
